Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Meaning of derailment noun 1. the act or process of derailing . Your probably like why is she talking about derailment. Well I its because I allow things that are thrown onto or that blow on my tracks to derail my journey of becoming healthier and finding me while being sandwiched between taking care of my dad, caring for my young family and being a wife to my husband. I need to break the habit of allowing these events in my life to derail my progress of getting healthy and finding me. I need to move me up to a higher position on my to do/ to take care of list. The ER doctor said it best the other night to me when I sitting in the ER with my dad waiting to hear what was going with him. I was over tired and hacking from my allergies. He told me I have to remember to take of me because I have a lot to take care of myself too. It hit me that maybe I can't wait all night on test results and then go home and function enough to take care of 17 month old while my husband goes to work. So at 3am I was like ok I need to go and he is good hands with the doc and nurse that were part of the team taking care of him. They had his history and what brought us and if they needed anything else they could call. Walking way a huge step for me. It was hard because I wouldn't have the control of knowing what's going on at the moment it happens. It was freeing to do it because I learned to let go some of the structure and control I feel I have to have in taking care of all the people that depend on me in my life. I can't split myself in 2 and being in both places where I was needed be. While walking away was a big step forward I took a few tiny steps backwards. I let the madness and craziness of what was going on derail my good clean eating habits and my exercise program. So I promised myself today that I will not let that happen again! Today is a new day and forward is the only way to go! Positive is the way I have to be so I can keep moving forward! Thanks for reading my rambling and I am off to sweat my tail off with my T25 work out and plank challenge today!

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